NaNa's House - Not Alone, Not Afraid

May 2007 Newsletter

When God calls us to a new work, he does not write it across the sky for everyone to see. He whispers to us in a private way so we know the message is for us personally.

I remember the very day God first planted the seed for this work in my heart. It was the spring of 1994. My husband Leo and I were living in Washington, Missouri when Leo asked me to come into St. Louis with him to help install new kitchen cabinets in a four family flat in a rough inner city neighborhood.

I was not looking forward to this project and agreed to do it only because Leo had asked for my help - something he had never done before. It was a beautiful spring day and as we drove the 50 miles into town, I looked longingly at all the daffodils popping up along the roadways. I love flowers and longed to stop the car and pick a big bouquet. I was pouting and feeling very sorry for myself - but only God knew.

The work was harder than I had imagined. It gave me new respect for my husband and the challenges he often faces. The apartments were rented to low income families and it must have been Spring Break because all the children and adults were home watching us work. We had to remove the old cabinets that were coated in grease and crawling with roaches. One of my assignments was to carry the old cabinet pieces out to the dumpster. There was something about being covered in dirt, flicking bugs off my shoulder and dragging heavy debris down the alley to the dumpster that made me feel unattractive and unloved - but only God new.

When I pulled open the lid to the dumpster, it was full of daffodils! Beautiful, long stem, freshly picked daffodils! I couldn't believe it. It touched my heart so deeply to know that God had heard my silent prayer. I realized he could see me standing in that garbage-strewn alley and he knew how much I needed encouragement. In amazement, I filled my arms with the flowers and put them in a bucket of water in the van.

I thought about finding the daffodils in the dumpster many times that week. Obviously God had wanted to get my attention - but why? What was so important about this project, this place?

We spent the whole week on this job. Each day we worked in a different apartment, intimately observing the lifestyles of families on welfare. My heart broke for the children in these particular households. Completely ignored by their caregivers, they seemed to wander aimlessly getting into mischief. There were no toys or games in these homes. No balls and gloves, no swings in the backyard, nothing to do but rip up the city's flowers and paint graffiti on the buildings. The younger children found the big boxes the cabinets came in and played in them for the better part of one day.

I imagined how nice it would be if some church or ministry had a house in the neighborhood where the children could go when they were all alone or simply needed someone to talk to. I pictured volunteers ministering to the children, showing them how to plant a garden instead of destroy one, playing ball with them, doing crafts, baking cookies, telling them about the hope of Jesus and being a safe refuge in times of crisis - but only God knew. It certainly didn't occur to me that I would be the person to do this.

Well, it has been over 10 years now. God did not let me forget the needs of the children in the daffodil neighborhood. Over and over again he drew me back. I learned that this area was plagued by high rates of child abuse in addition to poverty and crime. With the help of friends and family I formed a not for profit organization, became active with the schools and community groups in the neighborhood and sought funding of a safe house for children.

NaNa's House opened in February, 2002 to provide programs for the neighborhood children, and overnight and daytime respite care for children who are homeless or at risk for abuse. This is a place where children come to play, to get help with their homework or just to have a snack and talk. It is a place where children can fall asleep without hunger or fear. It is a place where every spring the daffodils bloom and children laugh and hope is renewed.

Erin Shocklee Weyerich

I don't know where my father is!
He was 8 years old with long tousled hair hanging in his eyes. His handsome features were screwed up into the meanest face he could possibly make as he defiantly stared me down.

"Hugh" and his brother and sister came to NaNa's House from a nearby homeless shelter while their mom was in the hospital. They arrived in good spirits with vivid tales of their mom being taken off in an ambulance to deliver a new baby sister or brother. They were full of excitement and energy as they dashed through the house finding all the toys and books and stashing their belongings in their rooms.

But the "honeymoon period" only lasted about 30 minutes. Hugh really had a difficulty sharing toys, as if he was afraid something very dear and precious would once again be taken from him. His way of defending the things he had claimed for his own was to come out swinging and a volunteer would have to wrap her arms around him in a hug to keep him from hurting his siblings. He was pretty uncooperative most of the afternoon and things came to a head at dinnertime. The other children gathered around the table when called but Hugh refused to come sit down. We fussed back and forth until finally it was just Hugh and I sitting in the front hall face to face. Hugh said, "I don't want to stay here. I want to go be with my father." At my wits end I said that sounded like a good idea and asked where his father was. Hugh said, "I don't know." Then he thought a minute and said, "But I could go stay with my step father." So I asked him what his stepfather's name was. Suddenly Hugh's defiance dissolved into tears and he said "I don't know who my step father is, but if I had one, he would come and get me!"

My heart broke for this little fellow, trying so hard to be a man in his hard world and wanting so desperately for someone to be his dad. I tried to give him a hug but he backed away. I told him that we all have a Father who watches over us every day and who loves us very much. Even at times when we feel like we are all alone and nothing will ever be right, he is there holding us in the palm of his hand. And he will help us and comfort us if we pray. So I said a prayer for Hugh and his spirit settled down, bringing peace back into the house.